Dear Jerry...

Dear Jerry,

It's been a week since we had our little "chat". The longest week of the summer. I don't want to be overly dramatic like classic Elaine.

The word I can use to describe my state is: numb. Whenever people ask about how my weekend was or how you are, I feel the need to lie and say "fine". I am constantly trying to cover up my sadness to keep feelings at bay. I don't want people to know that I've changed. I don't want people to know that I'm upset. I don't want people to know that I'm putting on a fake face.

I can't look at a couple without thinking about you. I can't look at wedding magazines laying at the check-out at Kroger without thinking about the possibility of Jerry and Elaine finally being together. I can't look at a child without wondering if we would have ever had kids together.

I don't cry much anymore. I think that I've emptied the water supply I have stored up. I'm just numb. I smile when someone makes a joke at a meeting, but I'm hoping that you are having a good day. I laugh when I watch Seth Meyers, but I'm wondering if you're thinking about me. I dance when I go out to the bars with my girlfriends, but I'm desperately wishing I was dancing with you.

I walk through my days finding things that I know you'd enjoy. I can't share it with you. I can't tell you about my day. I can't tell you about the issues I have with others around me. I'm having withdrawals Jerry, I want to know how your life is. I just don't know if I can handle the truth of what's going on in your life especially if there's another woman sharing your daily highs and lows that's not me.


#elaineprobs


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