Reflections of Year One

Before writing my reflections on my first year in Sweden, I looked back on a blog post that I wrote as a public letter to my future post-grad self on August 29 2017. Parts of this letter were difficult for me to read. I felt as if I had let myself down in some aspects of life. While in other parts of I smiled and said: "yes, what a joyous adventure this has been."

I still cannot believe that I am living in Sweden, sometimes I walk out of my door expecting the street to resemble Starkville or Marietta, but it isn't. I live in Sweden - a year later this is still a blessing that I can't believe I have. 

I have made so many many wonderful friends that have taught me so much in such a short period of time. They have graciously exposed my flaws which desperately needed to happen. They have been present for so many ups and downs this past year. They have been people to laugh, cry, succeed with as well as fail with. Unfortunately, with this new adventure, I have lost friends due to a wide array of circumstances. Some I could have fought to keep, but I just didn't see the point. 

I am still searching for pure joy. There are times I experience glimpses of it but usually, in a few days, it dissipates. 

I still have not found love. I thought I found it, but I messed it up. If you have feelings, share them - it could be too late when you realize them. 

I have started to realize how valuable I am. Just being able to say this publically is a great thing. I have talents that cannot be squandered and my presence cannot be replaced. I am a child of God and He has so many wonderful things planned for me. 

You are so strong, Macy. Be proud of the things you have accomplished in this year. You still have a lot of growing to do, but cherish how far you've come. 

your little mouse