Where Have I Been?

Where Have I Been?

I've been asking myself this for almost six months. 

The answer is... I don't know. 

This school year I have felt so out of place, lonely and heartbroken. There have been times where I will just lay in my bed and cry...for no reason. I think it is a combination of a few things. Most of my friends graduated in May so I have been just trudging through school while they move into awesome apartments or climb the career ladder.

I've had an extra year to think about my future and what I want to do come May. I think this extra year to mull things over has just made my emotional state worse. One day I want to move into a cool loft apartment in downtown Chicago working for a Fortune 500 company the next I think living out of my car sounds awesome.

So if you're going to ask me what I plan to do after graduation. don't. because I DON'T KNOW.

You may have noticed that I changed the name of my blog from #macyprobs to Little Mouse, Big World. I have felt small my whole life. Is this because I'm only 5 feet tall? Maybe. At certain points in my life, I have loved the feeling of being so small while the world looms over. It is almost as if the world has cradled me in its beauty. Then others I fear the largeness of the world. I want to be able to control everything, every last detail. I believe in the back of my mind I know this isn't possible, but hey I'm still going to try dang it. 

I love you my sweet readers. I thank you for your steadfastness. I promise to continue to push through these feelings of doubt and smallness with you by my side. 

Your Mouse, 

Macy