Dear Jerry...


This is a public thank you note along with a public apology.
I think I should start with the hardest part, the apology.

Jerry, if you are even reading this, I am sorry. I am sorry for all the hateful things I said to both your face and behind your back. I did not act the way friends act. You have been kind and a steadfast friend. I see that now and I wish I could take back every single negative word, action and thought. I can't. That is life. I can only build back the relationship we once had. I am sorry. I know these things must have hurt you and every time I think of your disappointed face it pains me to think you can even still allow me to be in your life.

Please forgive me.

Now. I need to thank you for a few things.

Thank you for breaking my heart. I know, you're most defiantly confused by now. In retrospect, you turned me down in the kindest way possible. I have been hurt much worse by boys. You turned me down politely and honestly like a man. Thank you.

Thank you for showing how real men act towards women. Before I met you I don't think I have ever met another man who handled women with such kindness and like a true gentleman. The smallest things like opening my car door, picking me up from a fraternity house at 2am (remember that?), or taking me out for breakfast or drinks. Even though you may not be my prince charming, you gave me real hope that princes exist in 2015. Thank you.

Thank you for befriending me. Thank you for going out on a limb and being my date to that first date party our freshman year. Thank you for embracing my craziness. Thank you for loving and sometimes indulging my scatterbrained-ness. Thank you for sometimes being the right amount of bad influence. Thank you for being patient. Thank you.

Thank you for setting me free. I don't think I would have said this four months ago, but it's true. I came to France with no strings. I was able to do whatever and go as I please with no thoughts about how you would feel or react. I have been able to become a better me. I have become more independent. I have a very clear vision for what I want to do with my future. I would always be thinking about what we would do with our futures, now I'm only looking towards my future (with your visiting often of course). I have big dreams and the only person holding me back is myself. And finally I have been able to fall in love again, but this time with a sweet European. I have nothing holding me back from refusing coffee or lunch. It may be just a fling, I may never see this man after December or he could be my real Prince Charming.  Thank you.

With all this said, don't think that I don't love you anymore. I of course still love you. But it is a different type of love. Thank you Jerry Seinfeld.



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